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There are Over 90001 of them with no set theme,
All your base2 are belong to the memes.
They're never gonna give you up3, never gonna let you down,
That is until the Trolls4 come to your town.
They heard you like Mudkips5, even if it's not true,
They'll spread it like Bieber's death6 all over youtube.
Say your prayers to Haruhi7, you will go insane,
Like with a swarm of snakes all over a plane8.
No Double Rainbow9 will save you, you are on your own,
Like when asking the question, "who was Phone?"10

But all is not lost, as Chuck Norris11 can
Put a stop to the horror that is 4chan12.
"CARD GAMES ON MOTORCYCLES"13 the fanboys will cry,
While The World14 will just stand there and simply sigh.
Soh letz all has delishus Cheezburger with thoas fuzee LOLcats15,
But let's try not to party with that one in the Hat16.

But peace is fleeting, and the Flame Wars17 begin,
And oh my god, Leeroy18 just ran in.
Some will shout "Objection!"19 and others "Ora!"20,
But they're all as annoying as that Map from Dora21.                
As the spammers come forth, you can smell the Old Spice22
That they wear to attract girls for those lonely cold nights.
So hide your kids and hide your wife23,
Because Pedobear24 is coming for you tonight.
They all shout "SPARTA!"25 and charge onto the message boards26,
All of them Godmod27 and claim to be Time Lords28.

Now honestly, I ask you, will their arguments float?
And I end this by saying, hey, "Nice Boat."29

If it's all the same, please let me say, you lost the game30.
I wrote this poem for my AP Literature class last week and waited till now to upload it cus I wanted to know what grade I'd get on it first. Sadly, it only got a B, cus I didn't meet the criteria. It was supposed to convey my opinion on the subject I chose, but this didn't do it because "my opinion was buried under irrelevence" or something. Which actually works really well when you consider that that's what happens on the internet. Anyway, my teacher really loved the poem despite that, and he himself said that it made him LOL. It made my day. Also, for his convenience, I had to add in footnotes (hence the superscript) so look down here for those:

1 Over 9000: A unit of measure to express an immeasurable amount; Originated in an episode of Dragon Ball Z.
2 All Your Base: A poorly translated line from the poorly translated video game Zero Wing.
3 Never Gonna Give You Up: An amusing song by Rick Astley mainly used to prank someone on the internet with a false link; AKA RickRolling.
4 Trolls: People on the internet who post angering opinions not because they believe them, but because they think it’s funny to waste peoples’ time.
5 Mudkip: A creature known as a Pokemon, often heard to be liked by people who actually don’t care for the darn thing.
6 Bieber’s death: A common joke rumor on youtube that Justin Bieber has died in some horrific accident; usually done as a form of “Trolling.”
7 Haruhi: Main character of anime The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya, theorized to be willing the events of the series based on the possibility that she might be God; fans of the series took this theory at face value.
8 Snakes all over a plane: Paraphrase of “Snakes on a Plane”, an incident in 2006 in which Samuel L. Jackson insisted that he had had it with a number of “monkey fighting snakes on a Monday-to-Friday plane.”
9 Double Rainbow: A natural phenomenon reaching all the way across the sky, so bright, vivid and beautiful that people often question its very meaning.
10 Who was Phone?: A question brought upon by a man receiving a phone call from his honey’s father, only to find out that he’d been dead for some time.
11 Chuck Norris: The manliest man who ever lived, the mere mentioning of whom earns this paper an automatic A+.
12 4chan: A forum where users post pictures, videos, and opinions; On all of the internet, you will never find a more wretched site of scum and villainy.
13 Card Games on Motorcycles: The premise of the anime Yu-Gi-Oh! 5D’s.
14 The World: The name of the time-stopping psychic ability of Dio Brando in the video game JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure; Commonly pronounced “ZA WARUDO.”
15 LOLcats: Amusing cats who have trouble spelling and do not know proper grammar.
16 Cat in the Hat: Dr. Seuss’ most famous character, possibly the ancestor of LOLcats.
17 Flame Wars: A collection of unappeasable internet users going on forums and posting nonsensical arguments about completely irrelevant things. Often started by Trolls.
18 Leeroy Jenkins: A player on World of Warcraft who runs into enemy lairs without consulting his teammates, effectively ruining their plans, but at least he has chicken.
19 OBJECTION!: A method of denying information presented in an argument, usually accompanied by an over the top hand motion; originated in the video game Phoenix Wright.
20 ORA!: The verbal tic of Jotaro Kujo, the main character of JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure.
21 The Map: Arguably the most annoying thing in the world, it is a singing map from the children’s show Dora the Explorer.
22 Old Spice: A body wash that smells like Isaiah Mustafa and makes all who wear it incredibly manly and irresistible to women. This also applies to women who wear it.
23 Hide Your Kids and Hide Your Wife: Chorus of the Bed Intruder Song, a remix of a news report about a rapist in Huntsville, AL.
24 Pedobear: A cartoon bear that preys on prepubescent girls.
25 SPARTA!: The location of the movie 300, known for being the home to several manly men who died honorably and awesomely.
26 Message Boards: A part of the internet where people post their opinions; tends to be where Flame Wars occur.
27 Godmodding: The action of making oneself more powerful than everyone else when playing a game by giving oneself some unfair advantage and making oneself undefeatable.
28 Time Lords: An essentially immortal species in the show Doctor Who.
29 Nice Boat: A joke made on the infamously violent and psychologically scarring ending to the anime School Days.
30 The Game: An unwinnable game lost whenever one thinks about it. All who know about it are automatically playing and are destined to lose it.
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NumberOnett Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
thekingdeadpool Featured By Owner May 3, 2013
pedobear also hunts 6yr olds
Sunkistmisfit Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
^This wins the internet.

Tokiro7 Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2011
Oh boy, what I always wanted! This is the best Christmas ever!
yoh001 Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2011
This is golden. I love it!.
Tokiro7 Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2011
Thank you very much ^^
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Submitted on
October 29, 2010
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